Nathali Christy's

University of Melbourne.

2012-02-05T04:59:00.001+11:00

Okay.
I admit.
This university stuff is freaking me out. For God's sake, why do they make very strict regulations for under 18 students? As if I commit a very bad crime for being under 18.. :(

So.. I got my final Trinity result practically yesterday.. and I am very satisfied with my result!! But.. here comes the real thing. I mean.. I was so scared last May to face a new life in Melbourne. Gladly, I am now through with it all. But.. it was only college. This is university, the real thing. No one helps you there. Ah.. now I am feeling like a lost puppy in the middle of nowhere.

Moreover, just now, mom asked me about the major I will take in university. I am so certain.. in fact, I am utterly positive that I am going to take chemical engineering. But when she asked me what it is about, what I am gonna do after I graduate, I was lost.
So.. I admit, I am not a good planner. I just know that I wanna study this and see where it will bring me to. I can't see where I am standing five years from now. Sometimes, I envy those who know so well the path they are gonna take. Maybe I still hold on to the belief that..

You'll never know what you will become. Just enjoy the ride life offers.

slacking.

2012-02-05T04:27:00.000+11:00

Bonjour! It's me from my lovely hometown. Ah.. I thought going back home will be enjoyable. I mean.. it IS enjoyable. But I can't help feeling bad for slacking the whole day :(
So basically, if I don't go out with friends, I will lie on the bed all day watching How I Met Your Mother. I'm now wondering whether I have gained any weight.

Above all, I still have a lot of catching up to do...

And I haven't missed a person so badly for a long time.

还要多久，我才能在你身边？

Sweet denial

2012-02-03T05:24:00.000+11:00

"I don't love her okay? I just miss her when she's not around, I think about her all the time and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion and I'm wearing a brown suede vest" - Barney Stinson

The fact that we did the same things, but did not realize that our feelings are mutual, amuses me. <3

Paranoia.

2012-01-31T23:49:00.001+11:00

Anxiously waiting.

When everything seems so perfect.. why is there a tinge of anxiousness inside?
I am scared. Afraid. I know this is too soon but what if?
What if the whole perfectness is just a facade?
What I know are.. I am happy and willing to give it a try.

Anyway, I am back in Medan for roughly three weeks! On one side, I am happy that I can be here, back to where I belong. But on the other side, I miss Melbourne so much.. ah.. the people, to be exact.

Speaking of which, I still can't believe that seven months have gone since I left Medan. Many things happened, which are pretty overwhelming. I hope everything will be okay.
Trinity finally has ended. All the seemingly endless homework, essays and exams are through. Never had it crossed my mind that I can finally finish all of it, and actually miss it. :(
Trinity was such a good time, a great chapter in my life, somehow like high school but of course, less drama! hahahahah

it's 7:48 pm and i'm officially missing you.

Less than three.

2012-01-19T23:23:00.002+11:00

This is my first post in 2012.. So late, I know.
I don't have any specific new year resolution.. just because I know that I'll keep changing my mind over this and that throughout this year.
Feel so lucky that I could spend new year with my beloved ones despite being away from home.

Less than three.
It can be <3, it can also mean two, "as in" (:p).. less than three. Two people together sharing the same feeling.
Is my wait finally over? I can only hope.
But what I know are..
I never felt this way before..
I never felt a love so selfless..
I never felt this right.

I never thought that I could blindly follow a recipe from the web, just to prepare someone his breakfast.
I never thought that I could leave my books in the middle of exam, just to mash those potatoes.
I never thought that I could be so impatient to let someone try what I made.
I never thought that I could be so busy searching over the web for gift ideas for Valentine's.

没想到，我会有这种感觉。

"I only pray you never leave me behind
Because good music can be so hard to find
I take your head and hold it closer to mine
Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind"

Rambling

2011-12-28T20:27:00.003+11:00

I keep hoping for that someone to come, that one.. who will sweep me off my feet. that one.. who will make me feel like a princess. that one.. to whom I am special.

Ironically, in reality, it is not as easy as that in fairytales.

And sometimes.. when you feel like you have had a good grasp of the situation.. all falls apart, revealing what is indeed true, what you never knew before.

I am exhausted.. this feeling is suffocating. I never expect this to get this complicated. I never picture myself in this before..

Hope these are all merely the results of my paranoia.

this is so true.

2011-12-16T02:00:00.001+11:00

Which Baby are you?

JANUARY BABY
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to
recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet
someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance
your personality.

FEBRUARY BABY
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

MARCH BABY
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

APRIL BABY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
travelling. Systematic. hot but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themselves and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

MAY BABY
Stubborn and hard-hearted . Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

JUNE BABY
You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. You
have a great choice in films, and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5 minutes.

JULY BABY
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.
spazzy at times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be with friends . Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days

AUGUST BABY
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

SEPTEMBER BABY
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins, someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

OCTOBER BABY
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will
not meet the love of your life for 10 years.

NOVEMBER BABY
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

DECEMBER BABY
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music...♥

2011-12-15T20:24:00.001+11:00

yes. I don't deny it. Almost everyone can make me smile. Almost everyone can make me laugh wholeheartedly. But.. there's only you.. who can make me cry.

Time flies.

2011-12-01T14:37:00.001+11:00

It is December now! and I am literally freezing while writing this post here. I intentionally chose the very back row for HOI lecture today and idk why John suddenly asked us to move in front. So now I am sitting at the very front, right in front of him, right under the aircon. Crap.

Literature deadline is tomorrow and I'm glad I am now finished!

And finally.. my favourite month of the year, December, is here. Last year's December seems to go so quickly. It feels like only yesterday. I hope this year's December will be as wonderful as, if not more wonderful than previous one. :)

bam!

2011-11-18T00:45:00.001+11:00

It's HOI deadline today and luckily, I don't have any business with it anymore...
So, things are going busier than ever. Even though I now can cross HOI off my to-do-list, I still have drama performance, literature essay and EAP oral presentation on it. Not to mention chemistry and maths which I still don't comprehend.

And I am here sitting in front of my lappie, being paranoid. I feel like something is missing. ah.. How can people understand me when I don't even understand myself?

Knowledge

2011-11-10T14:14:00.001+11:00

Some say "knowledge is power". Others say "Curiosity kills the cat". Which one is correct?
I am not talking about knowledge achieved from school. It is something more trivial but deadly.. called secret.
In the Victorian era, knowledge was considered very bad thing. From merely one little thing, it could grow bigger and therefore, dangerous. For example, A asked B why he spills water on the sofa and B answers he spills it when he is not sober. A could probably go on and assumes B is an alcoholic. I know it seems crazy and exaggerated. But I can't find any other example. Back to the topic. So, Victorian people tended to keep all to themselves, their world was full of secrets. They regard knowledge as dangerous.
However, does the notion still valid now?
When friends do not tell their secrets, there are three possibilities. Firstly, the secrets may somehow hurt you or change your life or your perception of someone. Secondly, they do not want to burden your mind. Or thirdly, they just simply don't trust you enough.
But if they ignore all those reasons and tell you, will you be happy? It will change your life. It will open your eyes to something you've never known before.. But will it be good? It will maybe change your perception of someone. It will maybe destroy your friend/relationship.

But unfortunately, despite all that.. if the situation happens to me.. I'll be all negative-thinking and straightforwardly go to reason number 3.

fever.

2011-11-08T21:11:00.001+11:00

Suppose you already know what i will talk about after reading the title. Yeap, I had fever since Sunday. I dunno how i could get fever. Maybe because I did not use an umbrella while it was raining. The thing is.. I suffered so much. I could not skip class yesterday because I already skipped one two weeks ago. Not to mention that attendance and participation always count.. So, I woke up feeling like zombie yesterday to attend my first class (which unfortunately began at 9.30 a.m.). It was hard for me to sleep the night before.. and this morning, i woke up feeling like crap (slightly milder than zombie). I still have a mild headache.. and worst of all, i lost my appetite. And when I am away from my hometown, all the sufferings double.

The workload does not even decrease.. instead, it comes like every second. I have HOI essay due next week, EAP homework+presentation, maths1 and maths2 quizzes, drama rehearsal, upcoming literature essay :( :( and fortunately, I had done EAP debate today. Hope I can get it all done without fail.

Sat night.

2011-11-05T22:38:00.002+11:00

yay! It's Saturday night.. and I am here, staying at home, trying to bear the hot weather. Supposed to do research for upcoming debate.. but I am just too indolent to do so.

Here I am.. thinking about what kind of person I am..
I'm not that kind of person who can talk freely to anyone.. it's not because i'm selfish or anything of that nature.. it's just.. I'm shy. I try to find something to talk about every time I meet new people but I just can't. then.. it comes to me that I'm just not that outgoing. And that's why I'm always an outcast in a group. That is why... people from the past seldom remember me.

Random

2011-11-03T19:55:00.002+11:00

"It's not what you say that determines who you are, it's what you do" - Gossip Girl

I often think that to be older is to be wiser. But someone disproves me and I had better not get into details.

There are friends to whom you can confide anything. There are also friends with whom you can only share your happiness. And for me, both types are friends. Because.. considering the imperfection of human beings, not all people can fulfill your expectations. Surely, good friends are those who can accept you for who you are, who will always be there when you need them, who are willing to hear out your complaints and stories. But sometimes, you will need friends who joke with you all the time, who do not really care about your problems but fill you with laughter instead. And this does not mean that those are not good friends, instead they are. Those two types of friends balance each other.. and they are the people you need in your life.

ordinary.

2011-10-27T14:22:00.000+11:00

Another post of mine that is titled "ordinary".

I have lived for 16 years, another month and a half to go before I turn 17.

Seriously.. I am trying to get a hold on myself and my life. My life these weeks has been pretty disoriented. Did I mention that I skipped my chemistry practical class because I couldn't wake up?

I was like slapped in the face, for real. Consequently, I have to lose 1.25 out of my overall chem mark.

And.. I don't know how to do 2nd HOI essay, like really.. I chose this question because I thought that it would be easy, just comparing and contrasting. But.. truth be told.. Up to this moment, I am still blank of idea.

And worse, I am now assigned chemistry project along with two other girls. I don't even know what I am doing.

I currently have many things to consider... And suddenly I realize that I am very ordinary.

I miss home.

2011-10-22T23:25:00.001+11:00

i feel..

2011-10-18T18:26:00.001+11:00

like a crap.

I do not know why.. maybe it's related to girls' problem or such. But.. I cannot help but feel disappointed. Have you ever come across a situation in which you have prepared for something since long but still get a lower mark than those who just prepare a day before the deadline? I do. And I am the one who relatively prepare longer than others. And I am also the one who achieve a lower mark. I know it's very narrow-minded of mine to write such things. But.. I think this can apply to other aspects in life as well. Because the thing involved in this situation is justness. How do we judge whether a thing is just enough or not? Do we judge it according to the result or the hardwork we put into it? Most of the time.. the effort poured into something is not considered at all. What matters is the result, no matter how hard you have worked. In other words, what matters is not how hard you do something, but how correctly you do it. But I still find it disheartening.. working very hard to achieve a not-very-satisfying result..
Nevertheless.. I will try harder. If I don't achieve a satisfying result, it does not mean that my effort is not hard enough, but not correct enough.

Anyway, I won't go back in January, which is disappointing at first. But I try to think positively and realize that instead of wasting a fortune for airplane tickets for a mere two-week holiday, I can apply for part-time job and earn my own money! I am staggeringly excited :D

Ordinary?

2011-10-13T14:28:00.001+11:00

Hi. I'm back on track. I mean, school. I'm now super horrified by the idea of commencing uni in the next few months. Especially after my EAP teacher told us some of the common uni frustation, such as inability to speak well in front of the locals. It's pretty terrifying man :(
So, I've got my 2nd essay from HOI and literature's is on its way. Even though my next exam will be in January, I still cannot relax :( such a life... I know this is fast track, but still....

Anyway, I just know that "ordinary" in Australia means "bad". Must watch out for teachers who say "Your essay is pretty ordinary".

Today was 10-10-10.

2011-10-09T21:34:00.002+11:00

You are probably wondering what happened in 10-10-10. Actually, it is nothing fancy like the inauguration of United Nation or worth-remembering like the death of Steve Jobs. But.. it means lots to me. 10-10-10 is the date of The Bebeks's first anniversary. Thinking back.. a lot have happened since that day. Like what I mentioned in a former post, all of us have gone in our own ways. D and W in Singapore, Y in Medan and I myself in Melbourne. We may separate.. but our friendship still remains.

So.. that day. Actually, we planned to eat in fancy restaurants like Trattoria and Bakerzin. But.. I don't know how we ended up in my house, with Pizza Hut delivery and a cake. Yes!! We bought our anniversary cake. We wrote one another letters the day before and read it that day. Inevitably, we cried. Actually, not we. Only D cried haha:p We had lots of fun that day.. but, we could not stand the imminent graduation, the fact that we would be separated. And, we talked about it.. we talked how it will be for us the following year.

And.. eventually, the day has arrived. Today, W and Y celebrated our 2nd anniversary in Jittlada Restaurant while munching La Maison Pattiserie's cupcakes and macarons. Too bad D and me could not join. But we still keep in touch via BBM hahaha! I am staggeringly thankful to the inventors of blackberry!

"I may be miles away, but here is where my heart will stay: with you, my friends"

You may find new friends, but it is your old friends who shape you to who you are.

Last year..

Today..

The macarons actually kinda represent four of us. Yellow for me, Green for W, Pink for Y and Blue for D, according to our tees in the pics a year ago (actually orange and purple for me and Y, respectively, but yellow and pink can still do, no? haha)

So.. Happy anniversary The Bebeks!! RAWR!! (as in dinosaur's "I Love You")

Dream

2011-10-08T00:53:00.002+11:00

Been occupied by super sweet Korean dramas these days. I finished City Hunter long ago and I'm now nearly finished with Heartstrings.

I mean.. the story portrays a really sweet romance between two young adults. It's something you cannot have in your real life. That is why you tend to satisfy your happiness by means of that kind of dramas.

"Oppa, you have to sweep her off her feet to capture her heart"

2011-10-01T15:54:00.002+10:00

Can't I have my own time?

I'm not supposed to blog now. I'm supposed to clean my super messy room and do the laundry. I'm supposed to wash my waterbottle. I'm supposed to prepare things for school. But here I am, sitting leisurely in front of my lappie, typing nonsense here.
I don't know what had gotten into me. I sleep late every night. or should I say every dawn? I wake up late in the afternoon. Seems like my old habit had gotten a grip on me yet again. I hate it. Especially the pimples resulting from it. But what can I do? I cannot restrain myself from doing it. I cannot resist the temptation of movies and novels and whatever keeping me awake at night.

I just detest to be bothered 24/7. Sometimes, I need my own time, my own space. I don't remember the last time I had that freedom. Everything seems so far away.. I want it back. But I can't. Why? I just can't. Because I love it like this. But there's always a time when I want that little freedom back. I just don't like to be restrained. I can't say "Can you stop bothering me?" because I know I'll regret it. I don't know what to do. I am.. helpless.

Random.

2011-09-30T18:19:00.002+10:00

1st. I love to be called "nat" but not "nath".
2nd. I can stay up late for the sake of finishing a movie or novel.
3rd. I'm a dumbo in sports.
4th. I hate it when people get in my way.
5th. I hate it when boys act like shit.

Discombobulated.

2011-09-29T22:39:00.000+10:00

It's been a long time since I last posted.
So, what should I be saying? Life's treating me good? Probably..

I've finished my term1 exam. And, apart from EAP, I've done my best, so I hope the result will be satisfying. Surely, after exam, I had a ten-day holiday, which will end soon. It's Thursday already, oh-gosh. On Monday, everything will be back to normal: busy life and so on and so on.
Up to this moment, my holiday has been superbly fun. I've been out to various places in Melbourne with Trinitians. Mostly, we went hunting for food but what I love most is the day we went to the beach! Also, we went to ice-skate today. I've never had those back in my hometown.
So, I spent the previous two nights in a friend of mine's apartment, along with two other girls. And I learn so much about them. It seems that we share much more than what I formerly thought. What I felt was genuine happiness and I thank God that I meet such good friends.
I love my life now. I learn so many things from them. And luckily, they treat me well even though I come from a different city from them.

Friends.. I hate when love destroys the friendship you've struck up for years. When it's been so beautiful but suddenly one of you develops feeling for the other. I know it can't be helped.. but still...
It's good when the relationship works out.. but how about when it doesn't?
I don't know why the feeling of remorse suddenly arouse inside me yesterday.. I can't help but wonder, how if nothing happened at all? It will be better, indubitably..

Will share some of my photos here next time ;p I feel like a dumbo.. my writing skill decreases over time.

Life

2011-09-12T13:13:00.002+10:00

I don't understand why most people cannot undergo a long-distance relationship. Well, I myself am also included. The thing is.. I just don't understand. It's quite a shame, you know, leaving all the memories you have behind. But I won't deny that it is hard. It's just the nature of people that I don't comprehend.

At the end of the day.. you still have to chase your dream, even if it means having your beloved faraway from you.

Cold As You.

2011-09-11T18:04:00.001+10:00

Don't mind the title. It's arbitrarily chosen because right now, at this exact moment, I'm listening to "Cold As You" as in Taylor Swift's.

So.. I've finally finished reviewing maths2 and am currently concentrating on Literature essay. Well.. This essay will contribute 20% to my final English mark and regarding the previous very unsatisfying mark I got for first lit exam, I really must nail this one. And anyway, I'm really satisfied with my Drama monologue result :D Hope I can do better and better ;)

Exam is in a week. Well, this is my very first term exam and apprehension is slowly crawling up my spine. Well, even though there will be only 4 subjects tested, I still need to bone up super hard. Hope I can score well!!

You know what.. Yesterday was 10th September, and.. next month (10-10) will be the bebeks' second anniversary. It is pretty hard to believe, that four of us have been separated by hundreds of miles. D is now pursuing her tertiary education in one of the best universities in the world, NUS. While W will go to Singapore too next month to chase her dream of being a successful psychologist.. leaving Y in Medan, studying at the most prestigious university in North Sumatra. And of course, myself, stuck all alone in Melbourne. Luckily for W and Y, they still can celebrate the wonderful event together because by then, W haven't left Medan. Ah.. I still remember the time we talk about how the future will be for four of us, separated by distance, lingering in different timezones and all that. But here we are.. just like old times, still exhibit the vitality of normal high-schoolers, in addition to the "mature" traits we now have hahaha!

Sometimes at night, when Melbourne has been swallowed by darkness, I reminisce all the time I had in high school: the dramas, the laughter, the gossips, the endless homework, the hateful teachers, the object"s" of bullying, the pranks, the silly stereotypes.. and realize I staggeringly miss them. I could act super childishly, whine about everything.. it's a hundred and eighty degrees different from the life I have now. Apparently, time cannot be turned back. I must continue my life, move forward, no matter how different it is from the previous one I had. Like what one of my friends says, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone".

I see the moon and the moon sees me...

09-09-11

2011-09-09T22:36:00.001+10:00

it's September 9th!!! Which means....deadline for 1st HOI essay. Well, seems like recently, I keep posting about HOI. Promise you this is the last time I'm gonna talk about it until maybe the next few weeks when the result comes out? :p

Okay. So, I'm really proud of the fact that I've finally finished HOI, printed it out and submitted it. And.. I decided to capture the super blissful moment.

Look at the "9"s! Hope they bring good luck :D

This month's term 1 exam T__T

And guess what? I've finally fulfilled all my cravings: pearl milk tea (didn't take a picture of it) and PODS!!!!! 5 PACKS!!

So.. starting tomorrow, I have to REALLY bone up for term 1. DUX!! (I may hope, no?)

Tangled Up in You.

2011-09-09T00:16:00.002+10:00

Heard about this song from a friend and also a loyal reader of my blog :p haha thank you!

You're my world

The shelter from the rain
You're the pills
That take away my pain
You're the light
That helps me find my way
You're the words
When I have nothing to say

And in this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
I'm still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you

You're the fire
That warms me when i'm cold
You're the hand
I have to hold as I grow old
You're the shore
When I am lost at sea
You're the only thing
That I like about me

And in this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
I'm still tangled up in you

How long has it been
Since this storyline began
And I hope it never ends
And goes like this forever

In this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
Tangled up in you
I'm still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you

in the midst of HOI lecture.

2011-09-08T14:09:00.000+10:00

Not that I am free or anything.. obviously, i am in the middle of HOI lecture and.. you sure know how boring it is. I've been working my ass off for the past one week on HOI essay and tadaaa!! I'm finally done with it, with a total working time of 1679 minutes. and fyi, i didn't count it. Who the hell counts their hellish time? -___- it was automatically recorded by microsoft word.

Now I guess I should do something more productive than scribbling randomly here. Maybe I'll read chem lec notes? umh....

And guess what?! I've just got good news! Melbourne central is having its end of season sale up to 20% !!! I'm so going there after school!

Spring..

2011-09-05T20:58:00.000+10:00

By far, I've finished my HOI and EAP essays. Haven't yet started on LIT though. Seriously, I need to bone up. Term 1 exam starts on 19 September argh! I don't really comprehend how I can still sit back and enjoy my time by going to malls and various restaurants in Melbourne. Or if I just stay at hostel, I'll start watching Korean dramas. T___T

Anyway, it's Spring now. Soon, flowers will blossom and it will be a perfect time to take pictures:p And the weather here is so nice already, just like that in Brastagi. I love the breezy wind that blows every morning and evening..
And there is this show.. Spring fashion week in Melbourne.. but i don't know where it is held. argh.

梦想。

2011-09-01T21:14:00.000+10:00

A girl may always dream for her prince to come sweeping her off her feet, no?

Holla ! My days are pretty hectic now. Term 1 exam is just around the corner and soon enough.. I have to work my ass off, boning up. Still, I have my HOI essay which is due next Friday and which I haven't yet finished. Plus Literature essay on short story which I don't understand AT ALL. Seriously, literature is not my cup of tea and I am expected to write 1200 words on it? And worse, it worths 15% of my total English mark. Like the essays aren't enough to kill me, I have another EAP essay due next Tuesday. Gees.

Enough for the bad news, the good news is.. I'll only have ONE class tomorrow at 3.45 p.m!!! How cool is that!! So, my lit teacher isn't coming due to his wife delivering his baby which means HEAVEN ;)

So I guess I have to stop now to start working on my seemingly endless work.

Repost from Winnie Illona :D

2011-09-01T15:06:00.001+10:00

Shards of Lyrics - Love story

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts

So we back in the club
Get that bodies rocking from side to side
Thank God the week is done
I feel like a zombie gone back to life

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns I see you make your way through the crowd
And say “Hello …”

“What is someone like you doing in a place like this?
Say did you come alone or did you bring all your friends?
Baby what’s your sign tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine”

“Swear I’ve seen you before
I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes”

You're so hypnotizing
could you be the devil, could you be an angel Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating

I know you want me
and I make it obvious that I want you too

And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again (again, again, again)

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Let’s go all the way tonight No regrets, just love

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch are foreign. It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

I'm all strung up my heart is fried
I just can’t get you off my mind

Yeah, you said “Hey”
And since that day,
You stole my heart and you’re the one to blame

Boy, I think about it every night, and day I’m addicted, want to jump inside your love

“You look so beautiful on this starry night
Loving the way the moonlight catches your eyes & your smile I'm captivated”

We are more than just good friends
This is how the story ends

You & I
could be like Aladdin & Jasmine
let’s make it happen

We are in love, we rock each other’s world!

I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets How you’d kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something

Yeah the reason I love you is all that we’ve been through
And that’s why I love you

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece
I’m complete

It’s been 5 years since that special day
“I guess it's safe to say
you look beautiful on our wedding day”

- Winnie Illona

The one I'll never get bored with.

2011-08-29T23:00:00.001+10:00

Hola! It's September soon. Term 1 is coming and I'm still working my ass on HOI essay. Anyway, I've completed the first step of university application. Funny, isn't it? Everyone has gone to university like ages ago!

Now I know, that.. the only person whom you can trust your feeling to does not depend on how long you've known that person, but, how willing that person is to trust you back.

HOI.

2011-08-27T21:50:00.001+10:00

Never had it occurred to me that I will eventually write a 1200-word essay on a subject of which existence I've never known before.
it's the bloody HISTORY OF IDEAS which is undoubtedly not as cool as how it sounds. Or perhaps.. it doesn't sound that cool either..
1200 words due September 9th and guess what? I haven't even written a single word.
Ah. actually I did write something....... meaningless like "Dear John" (the lecturer's name is John) which sounds kinda cool like one of Taylor Swift's songs and which I deleted after 5 seconds.

And speaking of Taylor Swift, she is going to hold a show in MELBOURNE in March next year which I MAY NOT go to. argh T___T

Anyway, I hope I can nail drama's monologue exam next Monday and do well in this HOI assignment!

and my favourite one:

Time.

2011-08-25T18:04:00.001+10:00

It's 25th August 2011.
I can't believe my eyes. It seems like only yesterday when I touched my feet on Melbourne for the very first time.
Time flies. I still remember the orientation days in which the teachers told us that we're gonna write essays of thousands of words. I remember all the gasps, the groans, the sighs. But now.. we've completed two of the concerned essays. And it is pretty easy... at least, before you get your actual results.

Up to this moment, I've got the results of the respective essays and.. it's kinda bad, I should say, despite having worked my ass off for like.. days. It's like a wake-up call, that I lack MUCH in many aspects. There are some moments when I cannot contain my disappointment and throw a remark that I was just wasting my time working on those essays. But.. I keep telling myself that I just didn't put sufficient effort on them. I keep telling myself to work harder and harder... And.. like the misery isn't enough, I'll have my report tomorrow.........and truth be told, I have never been this apprehensive.

I used to like literature and EAP classes, provided that the teachers are so cool and humorous. But the passion I had was crushed down by the poor result I got. I should... encourage myself and all. I succeeded, at least, for a brief moment before the fact that scholarship will only be given to those students with high final results reached my ears. And by high, I mean really really high! Like 98 out of 100. Is there any possibility I can ease my parents' burden after all these? I hope there still is.
Also, for like five minutes, the vicious thought of not being able to enter Melbourne uni entered my brain. Straightaway, I erased that thought to avert me from being discouraged. Like what I said in the previous post, I should appreciate everything I've got. And.. fortunately, thank Buddha, I did well in maths and chemistry. I just need to work harder than before. I may not be disappointed if I can't get a scholarship. The most important thing is I can enter Melbourne university and work harder to achieve another scholarship :)

I can't believe I'm still not in a university when my days are super hectic.

Give me a break, a little escape.

2011-08-23T18:35:00.000+10:00

"Even though I'm happy being me, I want to get away from all this harsh reality

I wanna be new and different anything I'm not"

This song holds the record for having the most "appearance" in my blog.

I indeed am tired of the reality... I understand that each person has different ability. One person may excel in arts, another may excel in academics. However, bitterly told, I don't belong to any. I mean... I may do averagely good in school subjects but.. I want something different. I always envy those who seem to have no obstacle in letting their fingers dance on the black and white keys of piano. Same goes with the ones who can speak English so fluently like native speakers. I always want to be one of those creative people who seem to have no problem in coming up with new ideas, creating new things and all that.

I want to be anything I'm not.

It's not like I'm not happy with myself. I'm happy that I enjoy life and still able to accomplish all my work at the same time. However,... I cannot help but envy those people... those people who have things I don't have. I keep telling myself that the only person I should consider as a contender is myself, no one but myself. But, having yourself standing behind all people doesn't give you a good feeling either.

I am in the middle of learning.. that you'll never have enough of something. Even when it seems like you have had it all, there's always something you lack. And, in my case, it's appreciation.

At the end of the day, I realize I should appreciate all the things I've got and use them to the greatest extent to produce something beyond the things I have currently.

Em?

2011-08-05T13:46:00.000+10:00

Hi. I'm currently posting using Trinity College's wireless :p And guess what.. I'm downloading Running Man too!!
haha. So.. yesterday was kinda bad for me. Apart from the fact that it was Eric's birthday. My EAP composition was not as bright as usual.. I put too little effort in it I guess :( And something happened.. which wasn't pleasant at all.

I'm here now currently in the middle of practising piano with a friend of mine who is from Medan too :) and he plays piano very very well! So.. every Friday we kinda practise together cause we don't have any lesson from 1.45-3.30 p.m.

These songs portray my feeling perfectly..

"Someday.. you'll find someone who will never take you for granted."

Somehow, I wish...

2011-08-04T20:58:00.002+10:00

"Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died.."

Contention.

2011-08-04T19:44:00.003+10:00

"The best thing about Trinity College is that there is no rivalry among the students. The one you will compete with is only you yourself"

The first day of orientation, the dean of International programs in Trinity College delivered so-called welcome speech in which she said that line. Like once was not enough, teachers here kept on repeating that line.
So, Trinity College is significantly different from my high school, students are not put in classes. They "move" from one class to another, graded on the subjects they take. Thus, there aren't any ranking written on their report cards at the end of the semester because the subjects they take aren't the same. Their report cards will merely have marks written on it. In Trinity College, if you fulfill the requirements to enter certain courses in University of Melbourne, then you pass. There's no such thing like taking only certain number of students like what most universities in Indonesia do. In other words, students do not have to compete with each other in order to enter University of Melbourne.

However, my actual aim here is not simply to enter University of Melbourne. I want to achieve a scholarship too. And University of Melbourne DO consider ONLY certain number of people for scholarship, which means I have to compete with others. And "others" doesn't only mean the students from my intake. To make things clear, Trinity College has 12 intakes. I am in July Fast Track which means that I'll finish foundation studies in January next year, THE SAME with the February Main Intake students. The last time I checked, there were like 450 students in the program. Crap. I need to vie with 450 plus 59 others..which isn't easy, provided that I am still behind all my work here. My English is still not up to the standard, I still can't understand chemistry very well, I still don't have any idea about what to do in HOI essay, not to mention drama..I still... The main point is I still lack in many aspects.

So, rivalry DOES exist.. and I need to work hard, even harder than before.

Uncertainty.

2011-08-03T22:21:00.002+10:00

The sweetest song ever <3

Pandemonium.

2011-08-02T23:13:00.000+10:00

Ciao! August is gonna be a super hectic month. Got Maths 2 quiz the day after tomorrow. Then, literature exam on 12, followed by maths 1 prac test the day after. Exactly a week later, I'll have chemistry exam. And finally.. drama monologue exam on 29th which I have to nail! Still.... I've got HOI 1st essay due 9th September. I don't even know which question to choose yet. AND September is the month of term 1 finals T___T

Some random pics :

Melbourne Central

Trinity College Chapel

The last 6 were taken in St. Kilda Beach. I love the colour of the sky and sea, kinda calm me down when I'm in pandemonium.

It was the first time you whispered "I love you".

2011-07-25T21:43:00.002+10:00

It’s like I just stepped outside,
when everything was going right.

The house I live in..

2011-07-25T00:27:00.003+10:00

Bonjour. It's me again. I find blogging so interesting these days teehee! it's almost midnight now and I normally would have drifted off to sleep. However, classes only start after lunch tomorrow, and although I have a meet up tomorrow with a person whom I will buy my chemistry text from at 9.30, it still doesn't stop me from posting. So, I have merely two classes tomorrow : Drama and Maths 1 Lecture. How cool is that! And.. if you've read my previous post, you will have realized that I have my first solo mime performance for drama tomorrow. The good news is.. I found out that the mark tomorrow won't be accounted into my final marks! It actually lifts up a big burden from my shoulders.

Anyway, the reason I post is that I want to show you my room! It is actually kinda big in size.. Well, I've done inspections into various other apartments and hostels and none can beat mine :p

I live in a student hostel which is not so big. It only accommodates 45 people with 15 rooms per floor. Luckily, I live in the first floor where the laundry room and common room are situated which is pretty convenient (I don't have to go upstairs just to check how my clothes are doing in the washing machine and dryer). As for common room, I never go in there for more than 5 minutes because watching TV is not my biggest hobby. The kitchen is in the second floor, which doesn't matter because I don't cook. I just go there when I need to wash my dishes and fill up my water bottle. Also, there is a gym in the third floor, which I never make use of. (Walking to school everyday is already counted as a kind of sports!)

First of all, it's my bed! As you can see, I brought along my teddy bear (Joey) which my friend gave me as my 16th birthday present.

My room is equipped with a heater and a fridge. The hanger on the corner is self-bought.

This is my desk plus shelves. I like the colour anyway :p

This is the only thing I don't like about my room, the small and does-not-have-doors wardrobe.

And this is the thing I like the most, the full-body mirror on the right side of the wardrobe teehee :p

Anyway.. I read Winnyteh's blog and agree with her statement about living faraway from parents. You got the exhilarating feeling for real.. and I don't feel that it's hard living faraway from them, thanks to the inventors of skype and blackberry. I can communicate with them 24/7. And if I've got a problem, I can still discuss it with them. However, in terms of friends and LDR.. I can't say much. It is hard. You can't find the exact people like your high school friends, there is always a boundary. But I've got great friends here as well :) Both friends are great, they're just different.

The Clod and The Pebble

2011-07-22T01:03:00.000+10:00

"Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a heaven in hell's despair "

So sung a little Clod of Clay,
Trodden with the cattle's feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

"Love seeketh only Self to please,
To bind another to its delight,
Joys in another's loss of ease,
And builds a hell in heaven's despite"

-William Blake

Hi! It's me again, at midnight. My former intention was to sleep because my head felt so heavy. However, I couldn't (obviously) so I decided to cool my mind off by writing this while devouring the super luscious Pods Mint Slice. Teehee!

So, I assume you all notice the poem at the beginning of this entry. Well, it is actually my literature homework. HAHA. However, I found something interesting in it. Well, there were two different definitions of love described.

What is love? "Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment" (Wikipedia). It is an emotion, a state of mind. It is intangible, abstract. But is it real? Yeah, it is. How can you know? You feel it. You feel a jolt of electricity flows through your body. You feel safe, like you are in a sanctuary in the middle of chaos. You feel blissful, happy, like you are in the seventh heaven. But are those all love can offer? No. It offers you more.. and sometimes, it inflicts physical pain. Wait! Love is intangible, how can it cause us to suffer physically? Surely 8 out of 10 of you ever feel like screaming on the top of your lungs, to ease the pain on your chest, the painful feeling - like someone stabs you with a thousand daggers.

Thus, is love a good thing or not? Here comes the interesting part: the message in the poem. Love was described by the clay as very kind, unselfish and willing to sacrifice itself for the sake of others. The fourth line.. kinda like a summary, implied love built happiness in the middle of unhappiness. However, the pebble seemed to disagree, saying bad things about love, depicted it as selfish and somehow.. sadistic. Love did not think of anything but itself. Love created hell in the middle of heaven.

Well, which is the right one? Somehow, I think both are correct. Love, firstly, creates blissfulness. When you are in the lowest state of your life, you seek for love, for the safeness it offers. It can be extremely relieving to be able to find love, to find the one you are comfortable with. However, good things never last (~~and neither do bad things~~). Love then reveals its dangerous side.When you long for someone too much is the moment when love shows its selfishness. And, too much love can cause suffering.. which is not pleasant AT ALL. When everything else seems to go so well, suddenly love comes ruining everything.

So.. the correct definition of love is still obscure. However, what about an "ideal" love? The perfect love, theoretically. It seems like the clay is the winner, by stating love's genial characteristics. But wait... how can two people be together in sacrificial love? No.. it doesn't seem right. It is not "perfect" in the least. How can two people sacrifice themselves for each other? Will be too fickle indeed. How about we move on to the formerly seem-to-be-bad description of love? Selfish. Stubborn. and tough. But too much of inflexibility in love cannot do either. See.. that leaves us with the notion of.. those two kinds of love must live together to fulfill each other, to teach each other, to reach flawlessness.

Lol. This is not the kind of thing I usually write in my blog. But whatever, I just feel so bored and wanna find something to drift myself off to sleep. And this is it!

Okay, so I guess I have to "force" myself to sleep now! Cya!

A Whole New World.

2011-07-19T23:25:00.002+10:00

Holla! It's me, still me, despite posting from a whole different GMT. So.. I have been in Melbourne for a month now. Well, truth be told, it was super hard at first, adjusting to a totally new neighborhood. Once, I came across some really rude girls and that scared the hell out of me! But that was last time, it's officially over now. I've got friends - well, surprisingly 38 out of 61 students enrolled are from Indonesia. Formerly, I even thought I was the only one.. Pleased and relieved that many people are in the same boat as mine.

Honestly, a tinge of regret sometimes strikes me. I mean.. everything is sky-highly expensive here. A proper meal costs me around $7 to $10 at the least. If I were in Indonesia, that sum of money could buy me a plate of super luxurious food!! Besides, I still sometimes have this kind of thought : if I had taken NUS/NTU entrance exam and got a scholarship or tuition grant, I would not have spent a fortune here. What is more? Practically all my beloved are going to Singapore to pursue their education. W, D, J. Talk about missing them!

However, after an hour or two, I will be back to sanity and start connecting the dots. If I never came here on the first place, I would not meet these amazing people here ; people from all over the world, with a number of different first languages. I would never meet those inspiring teachers. I would never learn how to do my own laundry, vacuum my own room and wash my own dishes. I would never learn how to value money, how to choose which things to buy to get utmost profit. To tell the truth, I can sometimes contemplate over which brand of orange juice to buy for a whole 10 minutes, doing calculations inside my head, which is of course so not pleasant. Another hardship I have to endure is that.. I have to choose carefully which clothes to wear tomorrow, of which colour and fabric. Well, here, I wash my clothes with, of course, washing machine and it costs me $2 each time I use it. Also, I don't want my jeans to discolour and thus stain my light-coloured shirt. So, I have to separate those two types of clothes HOWEVER it will cost me $4. Nonetheless, I am compelled to wear dark-coloured shirts every single time. Moreover, here, I learn how to open a bank account, I learn about the interest rates each bank offers and try to look for the most advantageous one. And this is something I don't know about initially, even only a single bit of it. Most importantly, I learn about life. I deal with the hardships of living alone. I deal with the pressure of finding a house to live in. I deal with the culture difference between Australia and Indonesia.

Speaking about the education itself, I feel very fortunate to be able to enter this college. Trinity college instills essential values of life in me. We learn how to respect each other, we learn how to communicate etc etc. And as this is merely a foundation studies, most of the subjects I'm learning now have already been taught previously in high school. However, subjects such as History of Ideas, Literature, Drama and EAP teach me heaps of new things which are kinda hard to deal with at first, but hopefully I will be able to catch up. Also, I am secretly (it's not a secret already now that I've told you) happy that international students are made compulsory to do foundation and not able to enter university straightaway. Firstly, I haven't yet decided which course I am going to major in. Secondly, being in college provides me with some time to adapt, in terms of language, weather and such. Even though some may say it's a waste of time, it's better to be slow but succeed than rush but fail right?

In spite of the fact that I have done Maths and Chemistry previously, they are still not to be overlooked. (Trinity college asked us to choose 3 elective subjects and I chose Maths 1, Maths 2 and chemistry). I mean, it's in English seriously. I can barely explain chemical reactions in Bahasa, let alone in English. Besides, abundant Maths homework always catches me off guard after every lecture and tutorial. I have only been in Trinity for around 2 weeks so HOI, literature and EAP haven't given out their deadly assignments yet (which are essays of approximately1200 words T__T) so I can still relax.. Drama, on the contrary, has announced its first exam of solo pantomime which takes place next week! I don't even know what to perform yet!
Whatever, I have to work staggeringly hard in order to achieve scholarship to ease my parents' burden !!

A bit of what I learned in HOI :
A wise person is the person who knows what he does not know - Socrates

Working style.

2011-05-08T23:24:00.000+10:00

Got the link from Evelyn Kuan's blog :)
Do visit :
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test47.aspx

Your Working Style

You are extremely dependable and have a complete, realistic, and practical respect for the facts. You absorb, remember, and use any number of facts and are careful about your accuracy. When you see that something needs to be done, you accept the responsibility, often beyond the call of duty. You like everything clearly stated. Your private reactions, which seldom show in your face, are often vivid and intense. Even when dealing with a crisis you look calm and composed. Behind your outer calm you are viewing the situation from an intensely individual angle. When you are "on duty" and dealing with the world, however, your behavior is sound and sensible.
You are thorough, painstaking, systematic, hard-working, and careful with particulars and procedures. Your perseverance tends to stabilize everything with which you are connected. You do not enter into things impulsively, but once committed, you are very hard to distract or discourage.
You often choose careers where your talents for organization and accuracy are rewarded. Examples are accounting, civil engineering, law, production, construction, health careers, and office work. You often move into supervisory and management roles.
If you are in charge of something, your practical judgment and valuing of procedure makes you consistent and conservative, assembling the necessary facts to support your evaluations and decisions. You look for Solutions to present problems in your successes of the past. With time you become masters of even the smallest elements of your work, but don't give yourself any special credit for this knowledge.
You may encounter problems if you expect everyone to be as logical and analytical as you are. You then run the danger of inappropriately passing judgment on others or overriding less forceful people. A useful rule is to use your thinking to make your perceptions about inanimate objects or your own behavior, and to use your perception to understand others. If you use your senses to see what really matters to others, so that it becomes a fact to be respected, you may go to generous lengths to help.
Another problem may arise if your thinking remains undeveloped. You may retreat, becoming absorbed with your inner reactions to sense-impressions, with nothing of value being produced. You may also tend to be somewhat suspicious of imagination and intuition, and not take it seriously enough.

A long-time hiatus.

2011-05-04T03:38:00.002+10:00

Cheers !
These days are beyond past recognition. I no longer attend school like the previous 12 years. Neither do I have any tuition now. My mind is full with worry and doubt.
Students visa is currently under process. However, I haven't undergone a medical check-up yet. As silly as it may sound, the doctor ain't here. Pfft! My bad, I did not call before setting off for Pramita Lab (the place where I should take my check-up). Worse, the check-up MUST be carried on by that doctor ONLY.
To add fuel to the fire, my accommodation ain't ready yet. Well, I plan to stay at this hostel which is owned by Trinity and situated near the campus. It provides real cozy rooms of three types : Single standard, single large, and twin-share. Mom told me to ask for single standard but what happened is there are vacancies merely for single large and twin-share. Dad settled for twin-share but I aren't that easy. I mean... well, I know studying abroad is all about meeting and socializing with new people but to be a roommate with someone I don't know who feasibly comes from the other side of the hemisphere? I don't think so. Not that I'm too stingy to share a room. How if when I need to study till late at night but she needs sleep so bad and vice versa? Seems like I should have a second choice afterall.

Anyhow, I have been pondering over some stuffs lately. This path I'm taking, is it the the very best? Dad keeps hinting his disapproval of my taking Chemical Engineering and suggests I take Computer Science. I'm secretly glad I have another 7 months to contemplate.
Besides, what I am facing now is REAL life, not high school no more. No one will be there to point out what I do wrongly and correct my mistakes. I should do every single thing by myself. Life ain't that easy and simple.

One thing, if I could turn back time I would really work hard to pursue my study in America or United Kingdom. :(

Enough for babbles. Just finished watching Gossip Girl. I know deep inside Blair still had feeling for Chuck and Chuck did too. I was just surprised to hear that Blair found some happiness in Louis. And worse, they were now engaged ! And Serena was surely being a bitch !

The ring Louis gave to Blair :

And this is Chuck's. Remember?

My favourite scene !

This handsome French lad !!

Poor Chuck !

THE MASK !

2011-04-20T23:36:00.000+10:00

Let this speaks ;)

I made this video specially for my classmates, as my present on the last day of school.
Well, I'm glad it turned out good and succeeded in making some teared. Tjiek Ki, unexpectedly, teared too and I was quite gobsmacked. Actually, the one who contributed the most is Winnie Illona. She was the one who looked for the songs and composed the beautiful poem. I just joined it all and added some photos and literal words.

However, too bad I made a typo. I spelled out 'seperate' instead of 'separate'. My my.. pardon my drowsiness that night.

Ah, TheMask is the most awesome class I've ever been in ;)

Paranoia.

2011-02-07T02:01:00.000+11:00

Hello. First of all, Happy Chinese New Year ! Gong Xi Fa Chai, may this rabbit year brings prosperity as well as health and luck.
So how is your Chinese New Year? Mine.. sucks (?) Well, it is practically not as fun as last year's or the year before's. Grandma is sick, she can barely get up from her bed. God bless Grandma, get well soon grandma :D

So I realized that my blog is kind of boring. Well, apparently, its color and header are boring and worse, this blog gets no picture ! I should perhaps let pictures speak sometimes but I am too indolent to be true to transfer photos from my cellphone to this lappie and afterwards upload them. Not to mention the slow internet connection I have here. So, it brings us to null !

Anyhow, I also figured out that I need to practise more in Chinese, I mean, I got the basics and all. I just lack expressing myself in Chinese, obviously. So some of my friends are very good in Chinese, I repeat, VERY GOOD. You can visit Rita's and Desilia's (you can find their blog links on my sidebar under the header "Chums") and you will get what I mean. To tell you the truth, I am a big fan of those who got the skill in languages, for instance, do ya know Li Pei Jung? (I don't know how to spell her name right, but more or less it sounds like it). She is IMPREGNABLE in languages. She was one of the delegates sent by Indonesia to participate in International Debate Competition in Wales a few years ago. And, she got the highest score of HSK back then. Well, she is simply MAGNIFICENT. She also masters Japanese, likewise. I seriously get goosebumps right now.

Anyway, that is not the main purpose of my writing this post. Actually, I am feeling paranoid now. You know, the feeling when you feel like there's someone watching you when in fact there's no one? Well, it is not my case now truthfully. My case is, I sometimes, oops, cross that, it's often. So, I often feel that people dislike me and talk about me behind my back. Normally, I won't care if someone really does that. But, this feeling of paranoia is haunting me wherever I go. To tell you the truth, the feeling has disappeared for quite a long time until just now, when I read someone's tweet and felt like he/she's talking about me. Hopefully, he/she wasn't because I can't bear the feeling of hatred. Don't get me wrong, I can bear those of my enemies, but that someone is my friend and.. I just can't bear the fact if he/she hates me, even when I made some mistakes. End of story.

So, I was thinking about posting about a little surprise party my friends gave me on my birthday last December. I was waiting for the photos which were in my friend's camera. Unfortunately, when the time came, when the photos were already in my hand, something happened. Something awful. And I cannot bear to write about it here. So, I just want to say thank you to those who gave me that little surprise (little, but had an ENORMOUS impact on me). I had actually been waiting for that moment to come for SO LONG, and finally I got it. Big thanks to the man who arranged the surprise :')

-You'll never know how precious a person is before that person leaves you-

The Mask

2011-01-26T03:14:00.000+11:00

It's technically three months to graduation, or if I should say, separation. It has been approximately a year and half since the twenty of us met one another. Yes, you did not read wrongly, we're twenty, the minor, the accelerated learning class. This whole time, many things have indeed happened, both the goods and bads. The class is actually divided into cliques and we often fight one another. But neither of it can bring down our friendship.

We named our class The Mask. Why? So back then, a classmate of mine told his friends that his marks was not so good but it turned out his was super ! Eventually, the others just called him "topeng" (or mask). In regard to the incident, we figured out that it may be our class name. Everybody just agreed and we settled for it. The Mask formerly stands for The Marvellous Acceleration Students Kingdom. However, later we finally agreed that it was ridiculous and omitted it from our class shirts.

And here we are now, three months to breaking up. Some of us are going to go overseas to pursue our studies. The rest will go to the most prestigious local universities. I myself am going to Australia alone. Well, most of my classmates are actually considering Singapore and Hong Kong. And I feel quite sad, really hope our friendship won't be perturbed by distance.

To tell you the truth, many have happened up to this moment. Teehees, boohoos are all we shared. Disputes may sometimes find their way out as well. And nothing, I repeat, nothing can alter our friendship. We do not regard ourselves as contenders, we work together, we find the solution together, we encourage one another. And that is what that matters the most.

I won't lie by saying that I do not dislike any of my classmates, I do. Nonetheless, that hatred is quickly brushed off by the strength of friendship.

Personality Test

2011-01-26T02:32:00.000+11:00

Actually I have taken this test before :
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

But my curiosity triggers me to try again, to see whether the result still matches that in the past.
And it matches, totally, 100% !

http://nathalichristy.blogspot.com/2009/07/my-personality.html
You see? I've taken it before :)

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Totally High School

2011-01-23T01:51:00.002+11:00

War? Drama? Break-up? Make up? It's high school. Drama queens, and now kings. Typical.

So hello, chaos was in the air since this morning, but not unleashed, yet. And in the evening, when everyone was sipping his/her own tea, drown in tranquility, the things just broke out of nowhere.
A lot of chattering, disputes were obviously there. Tear is powerful weapon, no?
Eventually, it ended exactly like how it should be, repeating the history. I was finally declared as the villain, even though I had nothing to do with anything going on. Apology muttered cause someone, oops, i mean some felt offended. It ended there, right there... until someone else added fuel to the fire. A total freak.

Ah, guess i should leave this one hanging. It's impudent yeah.

Just adding some things here. Do not trust a one-sided story. I mean it may be right.. or totally wrong. and acting like a know-it-all is not helping at all. Accusing innocents? Not a chance.

A Prayer.

2011-01-23T01:18:00.000+11:00

"Dear God,

Give me the strength to change the things I can change,

The courage to let go of the things I need to let go,

And the wisdom to know the difference."

A dismay.

2011-01-08T03:42:00.001+11:00

Do you know how it feels when you care so much about something that you are willing to do it even if it is not your responsibility, but everyone just ditch you? It is exactly how I feel right now. Call me sensitive fille, call me bitch, call me all you can think of. I won't throw even a single fuss. I know what I'm doing.

Sometimes, people are just ignorant. They seem to be oblivious to their surroundings. Not that I mind. But I have my own patience too. You better not cross the limit.

You would say that I'm making a big deal out of this thing. Say whatever you like. But beforehand, you should know that you were also all barks and no bites. You didn't seem to care at all, did you?

I'm putting my heart on my sleeve, and I have the rights to do so, don't I?
Perhaps, I'm carrying a chip on my shoulder but I can't contain this anger anymore. When people just break their promise like that and don't give a fuss about it, you know what you're feeling. Disappointment. Mad. It's the law of cause and effect.

After reading the email about the story from my previous post, I do chill out a little. But then I figured out I'm not as wise as Buddha, I can't just let it be. The emotions are still buried deep down there, waiting to be unleashed.

Seems like all I've done are nothing. I am nothing, aren't I? If I'm something then you just don't throw all your responsibilities on me. Not even a single question, not even an initiative and you accused us of being bossy?! SERIOUSLY?

I better not worry about the whole thing anymore, I have IELTS practices to finish, maths assignments to do and documents to complete. And these things do not mean nothing. They mean everything to me ! They cost me my future ! I can't just ruin my future for something I'm not respected for.

A Story.

2011-01-08T01:35:00.001+11:00

Once Buddha was travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake to drink.

The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same.

After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said," See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own ?? and you have clear water.

Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process!

TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS
EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU
NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE
BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE.

This story is so suitable for me right now. Just Let It Be.. Let It Be.

Happy New Year 2011 !

2011-01-07T03:43:00.001+11:00

Greetings !

Seems like my blog has been quite dead huh? And tedious.. obviously.

I'm seriously lazy to post updates, my life over holiday was so plain.. irksome. Besides, I will immediately turn to a damsel in distress because of my bad, short writing. Seriously.

Anyhow, my age of sixteen somehow haunts me. I myself feel like my memory is decreasing in capacity. What I'm telling you is, well, I usually could remember words and their meanings by learning them by heart but now, not a chance ! It kinda vex me in hardly a good way. Duh.

IELTS is in a month time and I am barely ready for it. I worry much about writing since I often lack of ideas thus my essay will be short. And speaking apparently is not the thing that I master, stuttering around. Reading has to be taken into account too. Rushing with time is not a good thing,no? And I definitely have to be in all ears for listening since my friends said the tape was quite unclear. Really hope I can get satisfying result you know, in order to achieve scholarship for college and university.
Speaking of college, I still have a lot requirements to fulfill. I haven't prepared all the documents needed. And worst, the administration office won't co-operate with me. Wonder when I will finish them all :(

Did I tell you about my HSK? It did not turn out good. Disappointed? Yeah, quite. But I did not really take it into consideration. I'm never great in Chinese. Umm, maybe I was. Things just do not work out when I'm older. Blame me for my laziness. But my tuition teacher did cheer me up. She said,"At least you made it, you pass ! And so far, you're the best among my students. No need to be discouraged". Thanks Miss :')

So I ran out of ideas, like usual. Just call this a post.

Oh really how can I manage an essay of a thousand words later?

Procrastination?

2010-12-08T00:50:00.002+11:00

So the one-day holiday has finally come to its end. School starts again tomorrow which I kinda detest. I just had my rest and now I have to go back to all those bustling activities.

Sometimes, my mind will contemplate over some ideas itself. Is school a really necessary thing? After all, we're just gonna graduate and some of us hardly make use of something we achieved from our former school, like those studying music or arts, perhaps. Hence, why do we have to go to school? It maybe teach us some basic things we need such as reading, writing, speaking and counting, but how about chemistry, physics, biology and all that? It's not like we're gonna be Nobel achiever someday. (Well, it's fine if we are) Are those really beneficial for our so-called future and success? Well, you decide.

Besides, I myself am befuddled by the idea that people studying science in high school may pursue their tertiary education on art stream. Then, why the heck did they study all those brain-racking formulas, struggle over Latin terms in Biology? It just makes no sense...

I could say that those people just have not made their mind on which subjects to study later. Doing science subjects will give them two choices (science and art stream) whereas doing arts merely give them one choice. Maybe they just want to play safe thus choose science. However, my tuition teacher seems to have different opinion.

"Everybody should have plans from the very beginning. It would be staggeringly time-consuming if you throw yourself on those science subjects when in the end, you'll merely go for business."
He also said that we must not focus too much on school stuff as it will ruin our future. Not exactly 'ruin' but kind of..

He mentioned his former student, the bright and magnificent Ivana Polim. Well, in case you don't know her, I'll tell you. She was from my school (I'm so proud !) and joined Chemistry Olympiad. And this is the interesting part. She got SILVER on the international chemistry olympiad ! Later, she got full marks on SAT (maths, this was what my friends told me). And I really love this part : She obtained 100% scholarship from MIT !!! It's MIT ! And 100%. Phew, got how marvelous she is?
Well, the thing is my tuition teacher told us that she did not really focus on her school, she spent her second year learning English, traveling here and there to get a good grasp of English. She also has something to do with Cambridge (I don't remember clearly).
So, what do we get from here? Her efforts are exquisitely worth it. She even turned down scholarship from NUS ! (Well, I will too if I get scholarship from MIT)
I was speechless, astonished, gobsmacked, flabbergasted.
And I was just a flibbertigibbet compared to her :(

Back to the topic, is school a waste of time?
I always spend my time worrying over those difficult subjects. I feel like a real dork. If my grades plummet, I'll feel sad. If exam's in the corner, I'll do all those paper assiduously. I'm like a robot.

Compare and contrast.

2010-12-05T21:22:00.001+11:00

Life is full of choices. You choose one and with it you land a step ahead. But remember, you can never step back, you can never press ctrl+Z and undo your choice. Nonetheless, every choice has its risk. A risk somebody has to endure in order to land in front of everybody.

But it somehow seems unfair to be compared to someone that dares not take the risk we take. I mean, "Hey ! We are now in two different realms. I had chosen mine and you had chosen yours". However, people do not seem cognizant of the fact and go on comparing and contrasting a person to another.

Everybody hates to be contrasted, and yet the world works in reverse. Everyone is counterpointed in everything they do even though they are not in the same realm.

When someone competes with others whose skills are considered superior, that someone may land far behind. But if that someone competes in a mediocre group, they'll probably land as the first. So, what's better? Being among the superiors or the mediocre ones?

A person chose the superior group yet another person chose the mediocre ones. Well, there's nothing wrong with them up to this point. But things started to flow wrongly. The latter started to brag about his 'relative' brilliance while in fact the latter is as brilliant as the former. I could not blame the latter as it is his rights to boast the things he has, but how about when everybody starts cornering the former?

This point is the beginning of all the wrong behaviors.
They have to consider the risk the former had taken. I could say that the latter was so cowardly a person he dared not choose the superior group.Besides, they should really taken the former's hard work into account. The latter's work is obviously nothing compared to the former's.

The true brilliance lies in one's bravery to undertake challenges, one's countless efforts to tackle every obstacle, not where one places in a group.

Contrasting two people of different realms is indeed a wrongdoing. yeah, indubitably.

Gees, I found out that I could not write a long entry, no matter how hard I tried. :(
and my English is so bad I wanted to vomit. grah !

Hectic, fatigued. Hey, they rhyme !

2010-12-04T23:08:00.000+11:00

It is two weeks to mid semester 5 exam and as usual, I haven't prepared anything considerable. Well, to tell the truth, no single anxiety has come to me up to this point, I mean, apprehension always hits me around two days in advance. However, Chemistry, Maths, Physics and especially Biology are racking my brain. Despite my indifference for others, I found out that I can be rather perturbed with those subjects. Thence, boning up as soon as possible is finally my choice.
It seems that the school board does not synchronize my thoughts. Biology is the third. May I repeat it HELL BIOLOGY is on the third day ! The schedule is sooooo flawless but this. Gees, how am I supposed to cover all the three chapters in a night?! I really wish I were the school board !
Did I tell you I've got my report card? Well, of course I don't because my blog has been dead for nearly a month, or more? So, the fact is I've got it and massive jubilance crept into me. I retained my best and the hard work was eventually paid off ! Another lifetime goal is yet fulfilled : ~~Scholarship for the whole senior year~~. Still, to my dismay, my average kind of dropped and the worst was my chemistry marks actually dropped by seven points :( hey, don't judge me just yet, didn't I tell you my most impregnable contender is myself?
Speaking of contender, people seem to regard others including their friends as their rivals. I don't know why, I mean.. I never regard my friends as my foes and DO NOT BOTHER to share my things. But the reverse seems to exist nearby.

Postscript for some hypocrite out there :
Content will only drive you to the bottom. Boast will just hasten it. Jealousy will crush you deep down to your bones. Stop acting like a saint, we know you're a bitch inside. Stop alluring everyone with your charm, we know your hatred piles to heaps down there.

Quandary.

2010-11-04T03:20:00.000+11:00

A huge quandary is crashing me.

Is Chemical Engineering really what I want to do?
Everybody knows engineers are mostly boys and that chemicals are somehow lethal. Even if there's a female majoring in engineering, it's not chemical engineering. Yes, I often hear people saying that we should drink a lot of milk to withstand the chemical's effect on our bodies. Some say dealing with chemicals makes a female not able to give birth. However, it's what I really like.. dealing with chemicals and all that.

The problem is I am afraid. I'm afraid of learning a futile thing from which I won't be drawing advantages after graduation. I'm afraid of wasting my parent's money. I'm afraid I'll just waste my time.

Everybody says I should ignore all people's sayings and work hard for what I long for. It's just.. I'm not sure.

I was like "what?"

2010-11-01T23:31:00.000+11:00

I can't believe that I'd been dumping this blog for more than a month. Gees ! Guess I should write some stuffs to catch you up with my life.
Life is treating me good recently.
I was away in Yogyakarta from 25 until 29 October 2010 for MIPA competition. Well, looks like my hard work was paid off, I got the 4th place which was quite satisfying (even though I could place the 2nd if only I were quicker in answering the questions in the final round). Besides, I was super glad because the school let me to skip my 4th semester exam which means that my final marks will be taken from merely the mid-semester exam marks (that is quite good as I did well then).
I should say that I went to Yogya with all "Luar Biasa" students from all over Indonesia. With "Luar Biasa", I meant both "plus" and "minus" ones. Get what I meant?
Well, I was so touched by those "Luar Biasa" students' performance. Even though they cannot see, speak or hear, they still give out their very best. Some of them even do not have a complete body. But still, they can act like a normal person.
Lesson's learnt : They do not want to be pitied but to be treated like a normal person.

I was so impressed I nearly cried.

Guess I should call this a post. Heaps of homework to be done !

A Mirthful Taradiddle : Another Story

2010-09-21T23:22:00.003+10:00

Up to this very moment, I have been living for exactly 387 years, 5 hours, 33 minutes, 5 seconds, 3 milliseconds, and 98 microseconds. Yes, I am immortal. I am a VAMPIRE ! Don't you get afraid of me. I am actually a very nice person. I'm very trendy and fashionable, I read Vogue, I love Paris, and I look very young ! Like 17. Aren't you curious of my name? I am... Teressa Katerina. I was born in Italy as a princess, a very beautiful princess, I warn you. When you got sight of me, you'd be CHANTED by my beauty. I got soft and white skin. My eyes are sparkling. And I always love MATHS ! My brain is brilliant ! see? I told you that I am smart as a whip !
I'm currently disguising as a high school maths teacher in Merriland. I got a very handsome husband and sons. Don't worry, they don't know if I am a vampire. As I get older, I always change my mask to the one which has more wrinkles than before.. In case they get inquisitive. And you need to know that I AM VERY LOYAL to my husband. Frankly speaking, I've been marrying the same guy all over these years. My current husband and the formers are all reincarnation of my beloved, KK.
Actually my life is not so exciting like that of other vampires out there. I'm an elite vampire. I don't drink blood of humans, I eat their luscious five-star hotel steak. In fact, I don't drink blood anymore. Gees. Blood is very disgusting, I prefer wine !
My settlement (not my husband's house) is a castle built of swarovski, well, it's the cheapest material to build a building. You might ask,"how about stone and cement?" Well, they are simply not my level !
I fly everywhere I want to. As I stated before, I love Paris, so I go over there every weekend, well, I got a private super fast jet so I can eat my breakfast in Egypt,lunch in Japan and dinner in USA. I have friends all over the world, both mortals and immortals.
Sadly, I miss my previous life when I was a human, I used to enter the classroom as a princess, my maids carried me on a throne like what they do to princess Jasmine in Aladdin. And I used to have many many many designers bags which my parents bought me. *sighs* Not that I do not have any now, but still I miss those old collections, they burnt down during World War I T__T
In fact, I have a lot more now, I have 5 warehouses for Hermes, 10 for Channels, and 43 other warehouses but I do not remember what bags I put in there cause Hermes and Chanel are my favourite ! Oh yeah, I recently collect Longchamp too..
As for shoes, I ADORE SHOES ! I have a total of 1001 pairs of wedges, 567 pairs of heels, 786 pairs of stilettos, 5674 pairs of flats, 80 pairs of those which are made from Gold. Gees, I think I still have 89045 pairs but I do not remember what groups they are in. My collections include Jimmy Choo's, Chanel, Blahnik, etc etc. I'm too busy to memorize it all.
And for clothings (from underwears to outerwears). well, I have 100 warehouses in each country for them. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. From designers all over the world, from the ancient to the present.
So what do you think of my collection. Still not enough, isn't it? well, don't worry, you are allowed to have some of it even though my collections are very little, I'll arrange a give-away on my birthday this upcoming November. Don't worry about the quality, even though they are kept for hundreds of years, they are still shining like new. I have 1000 maids in every country to take care of them. :)
OH SHIT ! I'm late for my job ! Gotta walk into my private jet and fly to Merriland ASAP ! AH !!!!! I'm confused of which bag I should carry. Maybe this LV will do. tsk ! Ah, this cheap thing...

Paris,
Sincerely,
Teressa Katerina.

What was the best advice you've ever received?

2010-09-16T14:50:00.000+10:00

Don't grieve on something you failed. It is indeed a futile thing to do. Concentrate on your next target in the list. Set you targets, venture, get your rewards. - My daddy :)

You ask, I answer.

where are you going to pursue your study further? :)

2010-09-16T00:08:00.001+10:00

Frankly, I'm thinking about Melbourne. I've asked much info about universities there and I'd love to enrol at University of Melbourne as it got good Engineering school :) but of course I have to go through Trinity college for foundation program first.
That's what I'm hoping for, actually. As you know, the AUD is rising higher and higher and I'm afraid it will be too pricey later :s
My alternative destination is perhaps Singapore. NUS got a very good engineering program. I'm thrilled to pursue my education there too, but NUS requires a very high English prerequisite, alas my English is not that good :(
Hence, NTU will be my last choice.

You ask, I answer.

A Ponderation.

2010-09-15T23:46:00.000+10:00

I'd been taking tuition at Mr.Harkiman's place for some time and my essay usually doesn't draw any of his criticism. But yesterday, I was staggeringly overwhelmed with disappointment when I saw him marking my work. He himself told me that I used the wrong collocations, that I must stick to my dictionary e'er.
Frankly, I had been waiting for this moment for so long. You might reckon that I'm weird or something, but it was actually what I did. I wanted him to throw me some critiques so I can improve. Okay, so now I've got what I want but now.. I feel.. bad, like all I had ever done until this very moment was all futile. At least, I know what to do, cheer myself up and keep on trying.

We used to look inside a small aquarium and wondered, how can those small fishes swim?
Now that we know, we don't want to know any further. Those gills or whatever, you know.

We always hoped to grow up faster, so we can be like mom or dad.
Now that we are on our way into that phase, we want to resume those childhood days.

We wanted to be able to do everything by ourselves whether it is to eat, take a bath or tidy our room. However, guess what? Now we are asked to take care of ourselves, and we refuse ! We are too indolent to be true.

People always want something that is beyond their grasp, and that behavior is universally natural.
The problem is, we never look back. We never consider those stuffs we had ever hoped for and done. We leave our brilliant childhood hopes behind and carry on our new life. We are.. selfish.
We always want something, but when we've already got it, we forget the fact that the thing was all we longed for. Thus, we throw it away, and that means one of our precious hopes is gone.
Satisfaction is one thing that you'll never get if you don't want to learn about appreciation. Appreciate you previous hopes, set your targets, achieve your goals. Thence, you'll get your contentment.

Rome was not built in one day.

just a short post so my blog would not seem that dead.

2010-09-14T01:33:00.000+10:00

Sutomo students are in the middle of school-break, I'm sure you know. But hell, homework is as uncountable as stars in the sky. Don't mind it, I was just exaggerating.
Seriously, I'd made a list of what to do this holiday. But unfortunately, I am an indolent damsel so I ditch it the whole time. Just imagine, my teacher who is probably enjoying hot tub in Hokkaido gave us the whole 2 UNITS questions to do. Well, actually she had announced it a while ago but you know.. yeah..
PLUS this MIPA thingie. Just for those who don't know, I'm joining this national competition (MIPA= Mate+IPA) it means I'm gonna compete my maths, chemistry, physics, and biology with all those prestigious students from other cities. gees. I'm fainting.
Back to the main point, so far, I've done nothing significant in this holiday except tidying up my room and finishing some of my maths homework.

Okay, I know this post is sooo lameee and boringgg. I simply do not have anything to tell, no nice topic to be discussed. So, let just call these two short paragraphs a post.

HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY ! Schon Ferien :D

An Axe To Grind

2010-08-27T23:43:00.001+10:00

Maybe a classmate of mine still carries a chip on her shoulder, that is why she made this indecent demeanour. You who are not on twitter may be bewildered of what I am saying. To sum up, there is a girl -it's better to keep her anonymity- who is in my class too, updating her status on twitter saying that she regretted to be in this class because most of her classmates are bitches, practically she was accusing my other friends and I. Why are you adding fuel to the fire girl?
Chaos happened this morning at school and all the time she bit her tongue. Not until late afternoon at tuition that she said sorry to us. But Elvis has left the building girl, you were too late. This is why I said she still carries a chip on her shoulder. According to her 'frank' speaking, she was mad at one of my friends who dumped her best friend (which is my friend's primary friend). However, my friend never acted like that and it was already proved that all of her sayings about my friend are applesauce. But still, I was all bark and no bite.
Dear girl, I pity you seriously, not that I do not want to forgive you. Even if I forgive you, this heart, my friend's hearts are already scarred by your recent action. I know you do feel exquisitely sorry that you dare stand up and speak directly to us after being dumb for approximately 6 hours. Thank you for bending over backwards. Unfortunately, you are alone (maybe not but you still pale beside us) thus I am pretty sure you can't cut the mustard. Note this down : It takes two to tango.

Honestly, I do not want to have any drama or any cat-fight anymore. I wish everyone could forget your horrible behaviour and carry on like usual. You do notice I used "wish" instead of "hope". If you know me enough, you will understand what I meant by that.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

2010-08-25T02:16:00.001+10:00

Looking back, I realize how far I have been since the day I stared at my name written on the acceleration class list. To be frank, I am quite flabbergasted by the fact that I manage to thrive until now, yet still savoring every moment I have had. Needless to say, days have been hard since the senior high started. I did state that the gap is too big from Junior High, yeah you can see it on my earlier entry long long time ago. Thank God I am able to adapt to every single hard thing, endure all the hard times, thus enjoying the satisfying result. Every cloud has a silver lining, yes? :)

You might be bewildered of why I post this nonsense up here. Actually, I "AM" writing nonsense. The idea just came across my mind. Well, in fact I was just reminiscing back those memories when I hit upon some hilarious things that are worth telling. I was discussing about our life being accelerated learning students with one of my friends. Then, I suddenly remembered about the "bullshits" people tell me when I was about to enter this class.
They did ACTUALLY say that we wouldn't have ANY holiday. In case we had, it would just be around a week or two, while others would have a month. HAHAHAHAHA ! I couldn't stop laughing remembering those. Those are just too... ILLOGICAL !
Another stupid stuff is that we would have NO time to enjoy ourselves such as watching TV or playing games etc. Roughly speaking, they said that we would be studying twenty four/seven. Gosh ! Those are totally applesauce ! In spite of that, I do admit that things will get pretty tense around a week before exam IF you haven't prepared for anything. If you listen to your teachers while they are teaching, calm down ! There will be no problem :)
Some would probably think that our teachers do not actually teach anything, simply give us all the formulas and there we go. Should I say that it is utterly fallacious. They will teach everything clearly, distinctly and of course understandably, considering they are the most prestigious teachers in the school in their own fields of study. The teaching method and subjects in accelerated class are merely made faster, not more difficult. Basically, this class is as same as those plus classes.

I look like promoting accelerated learning class, no? tee-hee. I just want to share my experience cause I recently come across a lot of students who seem to be interested in the class.
And FYI, most of my classmates (including me) still relax most of the time, unperturbed by those usual heaps of homework.

Inspiring Messages.

2010-08-22T03:58:00.000+10:00

I got this from my tuition teacher, via email.

1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that

directs the right path throughout

2]    Do you know why a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rearview Mirror is so small?
      Because our PAST is not as important as the FUTURE. Look Ahead and Move on.
3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.
4]     All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last
    forever.  If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.

5]    Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't
        forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!

6]    Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and
    says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!

7]    When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your
    problems HE has faith in your abilities.

8]    A blind person asked Swami Vivekanand: "Can there be anything worse than
    losing eye sight? He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"

9]    When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you
    are  safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today's
PEACE

Demise.

2010-08-22T03:13:00.002+10:00

It was all sad and horrifying. I was staggeringly shocked, indeed. It's still hard to believe, even at this very moment, even after I have shed so many tears.
Yeah, it is her demise of life. The death of my friend, my beloved friend, Jenny Wijaya. She was all so nice, cheerful, pretty, clever,and amicable girl. I still can't believe life is so cruel to her. She has thousands of dreams to accomplish, tons of hopes to fulfill. And now, all those have vanished ! Ruined by a simple word but dreadful, death.
Today, I get gobs of lessons. Yeah, death comes whenever it wants. Death is unpredictable yet cruel. Death does not consider one's age, experience, or others. If people say love is blind, I retort death is blind.
Our time, which may seem ample, is actually throttled. You are not able to know when you will die. 15 minutes later, 5 days later, a year later, you won't know !
Some people reckon that death is fun because we do not have to endure hard life no more. Well, dumb-headed you all ! THIS IS LIFE ! No matter how hard it is, you have to LIVE ! Because you get the chance ! The chance to live and experience thousands of things ! Do you know how deplorable it is to have your life snatched away from you?! Do you know how hard the time is for your relatives and friends to go through?! DO NOT BE SO SELFISH ! Thousands of people have their chances snapped away from them and you EASILY say that you do not want to live no more? IT IS UNBELIEVABLY UNFAIR !
Life is so precious, I do realize. Wasting time is pitiful. You must thank God, thank your Lord that you can still stand up, breathe and read my post at this very moment. You must thank God for every second you have got. You must not throw away your chances to study and explore this world, the chance that my friend,Jenny, has lost.
I am freaking sad now. Sorry if my post got messed up a little bit here and there. I just cannot believe a friend of mine, whom I spent three years with in a same class, has passed away. It is just... unbearable.. this whole thing. I feel that I am so lucky to still have this chance to live, study and explore. I won't waste my life for junks like arguing with some people out there which is not necessary. I will thank all my friends and family and say that I love them.. It has not been too late. I won't throw away my chance, I promise ! TIME IS VERY PRECIOUS !

As for Jenny, you are a great girl, thank you for being my friend.. Even though I am not your closest friend, I still feel that a part of my life has gone.. I am positively sure that all your friends love you, that they feel the same way like I do, that they also suffer from a great lost. Even though you have gone to a beautiful place called heaven, you will stay here always in my heart, our heart.

My deepest condolences for Jenny's family, friends, and boyfriend. Be tough ! Rest in peace, my friend. May Lord take a good care of you :')

Why are we adding new rules and allowing this to happen?

2010-08-19T22:02:00.001+10:00

Because we tend to crave for more, we want to make our lives perfect and one of the ways is creating new rules in our lives.

You ask, I answer.

Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?

2010-08-19T22:01:00.001+10:00

Of course, it is a lot to deal with. University thingie, where I will pursue my tertiary education. What my IELTS result will be, and the competition i'm going to join in this coming October while I'm having semester exam at school.

You ask, I answer.

What made you laugh last?

2010-08-19T21:59:00.001+10:00

Hmmm... I do laugh a lot hahahaha. Maybe the last one is when my boyfriend came to my tuition just to say hello and then went off again.

You ask, I answer.

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?

2010-08-19T21:58:00.001+10:00

Yeah, I do. Not because I'm a paranoid or something like that, I do know that I tend to make mistakes in talking or behaving which my friends consider irritating or else. And sometimes, people misconceive others' words or behaviors, don't they? It is quite a typical matter anyway.
And actually, I don't really care.

You ask, I answer.

What is more difficult for you; looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

2010-08-19T21:52:00.001+10:00

Well, I personally think that it is more difficult to look into people's eyes when they are telling me how they feel, you know, especially when they are babbling about their sad feelings. I cannot stand to look at those pity eyes.
On the other hand, I always look into people's eyes so they know how I really feel. If I'm telling lies, well that is a different matter.
Thanks for asking anyway :)

You ask, I answer.

"I don't wish, I hope :)" why do you make that as your bio?

2010-08-19T21:49:00.001+10:00

as you know, hope has stronger meaning than wish, which implies that all things are possible. By making that statement as my bio, I thrive to make all things possible by,of course, working hard.
Just so you know :)

You ask, I answer.

A Mirthful Taradiddle

2010-05-12T15:20:00.002+10:00

Howdy chums ! Meet me Annabelle from Merriland *wink*. FYI, you are very fortunate to meet me cause I scarcely talk to hideous people. ooh. Momma and Poppa will freak out when they know I speak to you ! well, on account of having a good mood at the moment, I'll tell you about my irksome life !
Well, I have a very pollyannaish sister named Elaine along with two other best friends named ASSley (Ashley) and Emily. Ass and Em's fathers are my Poppa's business partners. Needless to say, we have ample money *wink*

So, I share my room (or her room according to her) with Elaine. Honestly, Poppa and Momma want each of us to have own bedroom but,well, we refuse ! why??? Because we used to watch MOVIES until midnight and giggle together ! Our bedroom is so dull, FYI. We have a room full of our clothes and another full of our shoes. One library inside (full of comics and novels, and of course school-books if one shelf still counts). A huge bathroom with bathtub, a large mirror and so on so on and a musical room with many musical instruments inside. Last but not least, a doll palace. It's so boring,isn't it? Leave it, though. I gonna sleep if I talk about my bedroom.

How if I tell you my daily activities? Well, usually in the morning, Elaine and I wake up with swollen eyes and super mussy hair ! But that doesn't matter though, our personal assistants and fashion stylists are on their way. oh yeah, our breakfast is from a local five-star hotel which is sooooo NOT LUSCIOUS. It always tastes *ewhh*. Elaine and I prefer breakfast from Spain or Paris but Poppa does not let us eat it daily. *sad* oh yeah, i forget to tell you, Momma always forces us to read Teen Vogue and other fashion magazines before she lets us to go to school.
Still, a huge quandary crashes on us when we want to go to school. Elaine and I are always befuddled in choosing what cars we are going to use. But after fifteen minutes of considering the options, I choose Ferrari and Elaine chooses Lamborghini. well, we don't want to show off. Actually, I want a private jet but my school does not have a jet landing field. Gees. I gotta tell Poppa !

*to be continued*

Infantile usage of the word "die"

2010-05-06T00:34:00.003+10:00

Should it be mentioned that most people today prefer to die than live? pfft !
This post is based on the fact that my twitter timeline is e'er full of people tweeting their wishes to die. Blimey ! how puffed-up ! Point-blank, I opine they do not have any idea about the encroachments of their deaths to the people around them. See how swollen-headed are they?

Wish to die because your acquaintances refuse to speak with you? Not a good reason. If your friends snub you, it doesn't have any to do with your life, well, introspect yourself. Want to end your life merely because your parents dress you down? Not a good reason, either. It is their rights to berate you anyway, their way of educating you. And so on and so on..
No reason is good enough to be yours to die. Get the point on how immature you are?

Likewise, Mr. KTT pointed me and Stevanie Wu to participate in this what-so-called MIPA competition (Maths,Physics,Chemistry,Biology). So henceforward, I must bone up.

nostalgia.

2010-05-04T21:01:00.001+10:00

Some photoshop thingies I made two years ago. (Pardon the "layout by nat", they used to be my friendster backgrounds, you know how I was back then,don't you? *wink*)

this one has typo : it should be 46th Generation

and finally, my favourite quote back then. Can't think of any resemblance of it in my life right now. I seek for happiness, even at this very moment.

Egomaniacals.

2010-05-03T22:56:00.002+10:00

An idea hit me, followed by annoyance. Seems like people surrounding me are all self-centered. At least, two of them.

An anon teacher (it's impudent for me to expose his/her identity) can barely think of our feelings. All he/she can do was just yelling, menacing us for getting flunks in the upcoming exams, oh I'm fagged out ! Dear my educator, It is not like I don't honour you. I just want you to know that we are not dealing with MERELY your subject at school. There are SLEWS of homework need to be done, GOBS of passages need to be revised. And now you accused us of not paying any heed to our school-work. Well, you are not a psychology teacher. No wonder..

Moreover, this geeky classmate.. Oh, I know someone would have guessed. Well, he/she was like chafed by our presence. Yes, he/she is another egomaniacal besides that teacher. Look, we don't interrupt him/her. We do not have any business with him/her yet he/she is now starting a cold war with us. Brilliant my friend ! Marvellous ! Just so you know, you have wakened the wrong dragons.

Erroneousness

2010-05-02T17:30:00.000+10:00

Something which is done unintentionally may bring ruefulness. You might not be cognizant of it until it takes place,though. Have you ever happened to state something you thought is safe to be blabbed out but then turns out to be death-ringer? Well, I have. It didn't occur to me that my plain statement could hurt me back like a thousand knifes stabbed into my body. Anyhow, it is a personal matter which is unwise to be let out of the bag. So, let's just call it a post.

Mellifluous matters are sometimes repugnant.

2010-05-02T04:10:00.001+10:00

That people adore extolments is apparently true. They regard them as awards for their perseverance. Nevertheless, it seems I don't have the similar affair like the former phrase. Well,you may call me 'the experienced'. Yet, I have ever savored much, from the glorious taste of kudos to the acrimonious resentment of flunk. The point is, not all praises avail us and some may inflict unpleasant feelings. Should I say it here I always fall for those bitterness. It is so unwise of mine to pose some personal tales that I'll merely go for instances that do not have any relation to mine. When you commit something that is extraordinary to those around you, you'll always get felicitations, however, some felicitations may contain hideous significance such as hatred, sarcasm, or envy. Moreover, it may happen to make you feel out of the circle. That is exactly what I'm feeling, the feeling of oh-I-am-not-one-of-them. Perhaps,you would consider it as a trivial matter by reckoning me as a sensitive fille.
Anyhow, do not get me wrong. I didn't mean I detest to be praised, I love them as they can raise up my spirit of hard-work. I merely cannot cope with them when things go bad.

me being bitch, exquisitely annoying bitch.

2010-04-20T00:49:00.000+10:00

Thing number 1: The competition didn't turn out well and i regret it.
Thing number 2: being a bitch is very nice and i mean it.
Thing number 3: cover up your true feelings by turning into an annoying bitch.
Thing number 4: Don't judge a person by simply reading on her writings or whatever because yeah, it always deceives. I can write HAHAHA when i'm crying. No one knows so it doesn't matter.
Thing number 5: So that's what I call a post. I'm done !

Underneath the moon
Underneath the stars
Here's a little heart
For you
Up above the world
Up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to

But if i should break
If i should fall away
What am i to do
I need someone to take
A little of the weight
Or I'll fall through

You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall

Take a little time
Walk a little line
Got the balance right aha
Give a little love
Gimme just enough
So that i can hang on tight

We will be alright
I'll be by your side
I won't let you down
But i gotta know
No matter how things go
That you will be around

You're just the one that i've been waiting for
I'll give you all that i have to give and more
But don't let me fall
Don't let me fall

Underneath the moon
Underneath the stars
Here's a little heart
For you
Up above the world
Up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to

You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall

You'll be the one that I'll love forever more
I'll be here holding you high above it all
But don't let me fall

(Don't Let Me Fall-Lenka)

Star.

2010-04-11T16:39:00.001+10:00

Alone I've been
Staring at the black sky ahead
A need for a star
To lighten up my gloomy night

Lonely I've been
Staring at globs of people ahead
A need for only one star
To brighten up my pathetic smile

Star..
With thousands of light..
With thousands of smiles..
With thousands of happiness,ecstasy,jubilancy.
Drag me up from this blue world.
Disengage me from the worst misery.
Sprightly , I stand.
Uncluttered, I fly.
Leaving all burdens behind.
Thank you, my star.

my confession.

2010-04-10T17:16:00.001+10:00

Maybe some of you still don't know but yeah.. I've received my report card and thank God I still get scholarship for the next term. So my daddy with his delightful heart bought me this blackberry ♥ oops! I'm not showing off. I'm just sharing my ecstasy.

That's a story of a little happiness of mine. Still, I couldn't have my friends regretting over their report marks. Especially for you W.. Frankly speaking, I feel sorry for them all. Well, I'm not pitying them of course.. I just don't want them to be discouraged because of this thingie. Maybe I won't ever understand their feelings but still.. I can't stand watching them full of sorrow there. Look friends, I know you all have done your best. It's not your fault that makes you fail to get what you want. Remember, all things still have luck factor. Maybe your luck is still not there. Look, the point is, I don't want you to cry over this thing and feel hopeless for the next one. It is just wasting your precious time,okay? If you still act like this, you'll neglect your next exam and yeah.. It will still be the same. So please! SMILE! Keep pursuing your dreams! Believe that you can do it and tadaaa! YOU ACTUALLY CAN!

So that's all.. My little motivation words. It's all up to you. If you have a thought that I'm way too busy-body, I really don't mind:)

gees.

2010-04-09T00:05:00.001+10:00

in the middle of doing maths right now. Frankly, I don't know what to tell you. I just.. ergh.. feel not good. not sick, yeah.. just that 'not good'. not for exam, of course. I don't feel any single thing for exam. weird thing,huh?

okay.. tell you something. It is just like something is wrong between..ergh you know.. us. I can't tell much. I'm not the type who keeps on babbling away to people he doesn't even know. It's just I feel that I'm not good enough for him. Everything I do seems so wrong. So how? I'm torn between him and my friends yeah.. school-work too. I'm afraid that we can't ergh.. okay ! Just end it up here.

WISH ME LUCK FOR MATHS TOMORROW ! This probability and circle thingies are driving me crazy. uh-uh

in the middle of this exa.. ergh.. hell?

2010-04-08T03:24:00.000+10:00

3 down, 4 to go ! So far, I did well, thank God and my besties. Without them, I'm nothing !
So.. I'm in the middle of exam now. Anyway, tomorrow is holiday for us so.. I'M GONNA STAY UP LATE ! Seriously, I've just finished two episodes of Vampire Diaries and damn-it it is getting creepier and creepier !!!! But as usual, Damon and Stefan are always stunning ! <3

Have you read my besties, WInnie Illona's blog? In case that you haven't, I have some good news to tell. Yeah.. I did get in the big 50 out of 700+ on what-so-called Unimed Maths' Competition. Though I didn't get into the big 6, I'm still grateful ! yeah..

Gotta do my work (gg to have Maths exam on Friday) so let's end this post !

XOXO,
Annabelle Duck.

the most hectic week ever

2010-03-30T21:46:00.001+11:00

I'm torn between these two : mid semester exam and Maths Olympiad (what we call OSK)

part of me wants to join that OSK because yeah.. I've been longing for it since..ergh.. like forever. But still, I dunno whether I could win or not :(
Whilst, I know that joining OSK means dividing my mind into two. Well, actually the school gives compensation for those who join OSK by fleeing them from exam (note : you must pass the OSK and join OSP- the province level). But I'm ~~not~~ really sure that I could pass, seriously. ARGH !

Some random babbles of mine :
- A present on birthday means there's still someone who is watching you out there.

Feel like adding something here : I feel I'm way too selfish. yeah.. everyone IS selfish, obviously. It's just.. I can't find any reason to blow away this 'evil' thought.
I am pathetic. Yes, that's right !
I just don't know what I am among those. AM I WAY TOO BAD?????

hoolaaaa

2010-03-28T16:26:00.000+11:00

hooollaaa ! I guess my blog is just so dead ! yeah, exam's coming and I won't pretend that I don't have any time to blog because of studying. Because, I'm not. yeah.
Another novel fills my day. Still Sidney Sheldon's. The Windmills Of The Gods. Still exciting, still marvelous, still stunning. :) I recommend all Sidney Sheldon's !
Physics is freaking me out. Seriously, I can just do 1 out of 5 questions. Get the point of how stupid I am? Whilst, that "Karen"-girl shows of with her flawless-physics-answers. I don't know. I just...ergh... dislike her.
Still, exam is coming and.. what do i do? Absolutely... play games, novels, yeah.. I'm putting myself into Biology this late afternoon,maybe. But, who knows? *smirk*

if. a two-letter word for futility,

2010-03-17T23:48:00.000+11:00

The previous exam ended not more than 2 weeks ago and crap ! I'm going to have another exam in 2 weeks. That is what accelerated-learning students deserve, don't them?
I'm still nervous to throw a glance on my soon-to-be-gotten report card. To be frank, I'd prepared for the misery, but still... I dunno if I can resist the crying if it turns out to be bad.
teehees, a lot of homework needs to be done, like usual. Going to catch up on it after this. I'm giving you recommendation on good books I recently read.

The Master Of The Game, by Sidney Sheldon.

Well, I REALLY LOVE THIS BOOK. The story is written to provoke our senses and not giving us any chance to stop reading. The conflict is indeed very great. Plus,Sheldon's style of writing won't get you bored. Here is the synopsis :

The Blackwell family had it all : Kruger-Brent, a multi-billion pound company, property across the globe, and lifestyles more glamorous than any Hollywood star. But their empire was born of naked ambition, death and betrayal.

The handsome and talented Tony Blackwell longs to be an artist but his mother has other plans. She needs an heir and she always gets what she wants.

Eve and Alexandra, the stunningly beautiful Blackwell twins. One as pure and gentle as a new born, the other a twisted, evil schemer who will stop at nothing in her quest to inherit Kruger-Brent.

Watching over them is one of the most powerful women in the world, Kate Blackwell. For years she built up an unbreakable empire, sacrificing everything for the sake of her one true love - her company. She is,and always be the master of the game.

the great competition :D

2010-02-20T01:14:00.000+11:00

anyway, I join this maths competition at Pardede Hall. The pre-eliminary is tomorrow and the final is on 21st February. Well, part of me hoped that I didn't pass the pre-eliminary so I don't have to join the final on 21st,which is, a day before my final exam at school. But the other part of me wanted to success and bring back a G O L D, which really freaks me out !

Talking about final exam, i haven't prepared anything, though. My Maths,Physics,and Chemistry which used to be finished flawlessly before exam now make me dizzy. I still cannot memorize all the formulae well :( Not to mention about Econs and others which I haven't given a glance at.

Forget about my frown, WISH ME LUCK FOR TOMORROW AND FINAL EXAM !

tired of this blackout.

2010-02-19T23:47:00.000+11:00

It is blackout nearly everyday now. AND I AM REALLY ANNOYED. Yeah, I can still sleep with air-con, but that stupid neighbour's genzet-noise really drove me crazy. GTHHH

Anyway, I am supposed to have chemistry try-out exam today,yeah. It is not really a try-out and the best of all : IT DOESN'T TAKE ANY MARKS. LOL

I want to write more, but this hot atmosphere blocks my brain. urgh.

CNY party.

2010-02-14T03:45:00.001+11:00

Just got back home from Selecta. Yeah, as i told you before.. I celebrate my CNY's eve party there.. At first, i thought my father and other cousins reserve a room in which we can celebrate our party privately. But, too bad.. It is a public party and.. it was just like common wedding-parties.
I borrowed mommy's Blackberry and chatted with Desilia along the party. We joked in BBM and later we met in the toilet and,of course, took some photos ! LOL. We cannot chat face to face along the party though. My table is very far from hers -.- And if you have twitter and follow me, you should have known how the party is by reading my updates :D

Anyway, Happy sa cap meh My bebeks ( Des, Win, Yol) and Stevaniewu :D

Happy Chinese New Year's Eve :D

2010-02-13T19:15:00.001+11:00

Hello there. I guess you all are having such good time,right? yeah. I'm going to Selecta tonight and one of my bebeks,Desilia Nilam, said that she is going there too :D
I'm freaking out by the fact that this spirit of holiday won't last long due to the exam I'm going to have after CNY. But,of course, I don't have any mood to touch books right now, oopss.. I mean school-books :p I of course still touch novels right? LOL
Speaking of novels, I've finished two yesterday. The first is Winter in Tokyo which I borrowed from Jesselyn. The latter is Spring in London (which he bought me as Valentine's present). I'm sure you've heard of it if you're girls. Those two novels speak of two girls which are twins. Winter in Tokyo speak of Ishida Keiko's love story while Spring in London speak of Ishida Keiko's twins - Ishida Naomi. Both stories are very romantic, surely. Believe me and read it soon ! :D

it's 3 o'clock right now and 3 more hours to go before party ! :D tomorrow is CNY so.. GONG XI FAT CHAI ! :D

peace, girl.

2010-02-11T21:41:00.005+11:00

Lately and weirdly, I have so much to say.
First, I must inform you that my class didn't get any medal for bulbo and I am so heart-broken. We did get into the top five, but I think it's not enough. Never mind though, we'll hit the first place next year :)
Second, I made cornflakes with mommy yesterday night :) 188 cornflakes (Nice figures,isn't it?) She gave some to grandmom and of course, I kept some for him and my friends :] Will have them to taste it after CNY.
Third, The Bebeks (except me because I'm not there on place) have some argument with-lets just indicate her with- X. I myself am not so sure about the story but the climax is when "X" said The Bebeks (not including me,again) chua lang lo (In English, it means 'sucks'). I don't know why (again I say) but then several of my classmates (8 people) suddenly begin shouting and screaming "LU KOK ANE CHUA LANG LO E?" (Why the hell you suck so much?) in order to tease "X". Well, she just sat down quietly, unable to say anything (or don't want). Seriously, I pity her, but I personally think she deserved it for saying someone sucks without an objective reason (actually, my friends said it is because "double-U" said our form teacher sucks). But it's still not an objective reason, is it?
okay, enough for the stupid-childish-cat-war :)

Anyway, I'm having my first piano lesson with private teacher tonight :) Gotta go and prepare myself before he comes. Good-bye !

---------------------->

I feel like adding something here.

I know I shouldn't write this thingie here. Considering the fact that this involves some of my friends and can hurt some of them. Well, I really don't mean to..
Have you ever feel like you are out of circle? Yeah, I do. Most of the time. I don't know what's wrong with me. People just like to walk pass me. They know me one day and forget me later. Maybe i'm weird, but this is truly how i feel. I cannot find anything wrong with me too. I just look at me like I used to do. Maybe I'm selfish, I admit it. Maybe I'm not that good as a friend. Or maybe they think I'm weird and dislike my attitudes. Mommy used to say I always change my peers. I cannot stick with a friend forever. I don't know. I just think It is they who left me, not me. I always smile and talk to my long-lost friends even I don't know what to say.

Sometimes, I can cry. Yeah, silly. I feel like a dumb person. I talk to nobody before they talk to me or I question them something. They don't feel like telling me things before I ask them first. Maybe I talk too much sometimes until they don't want to listen to me anymore. But if I talk nothing, they'll say I don't want to talk to them. I am wrong in both sides. I feel I should better talk much than nothing due to the fact that it will only hurt me, no one else.

I used to have friends, and I think of them as the best of friends. yeah.. I'm wrong. They don't. They talk to me and leave me easily. It is pathetic, isn't it? Sometimes I miss them, but I bet they don't miss me.

I am really out of circle and I can't do a thing. Worse, I cannot be a good friend for anybody.
I AM PATHETIC :'(

oh-my-gosh. The result is out tomorrow !

2010-02-09T23:05:00.001+11:00

So today went just like usual. Biology assignment is to be done tonight. Seriously, I can't think of anything else besides exam. However, I don't feel like studying. weird.
I had a debate session today at class. We (Desilia, Yolita, Evelyn, Winnie and me under the name "THE BEBEKS") actually faced THE CICAKS (Hudson, Jesselyn, Jimmy, Evelyne and Albert). But that "suapa" teacher took their place and debated with "ME". It was quite annoying (the teacher, i mean) but overall, I had such fun time.

Anyway, this flu is killing me. I can't stop sneezing since this morning. Hope a pill of decolgen will help me.

Bulbo-winners will be announced tomorrow.

WISH US LUCK !

P.S : keep voting Mr. SS :D scroll down to find the link.

it is not funny.

2010-02-09T02:27:00.001+11:00

Well, I have computer exam and many assignments due tomorrow. And, you see, instead of doing it, I blog.

Time flies. In one way, I regret for not using my time effectively to boost up my English skill. In the other way, I am quite thrilled with the fact that I will face Ielts test NEXT YEAR. Oh God, I am still not able to write well. Not to mention my vocabulary skill, of course.

Anyway, the bulletin board winners will be announced on Wednesday, which is the day after tomorrow. oh God.. I really hope to win something, even bronze, I don't care. But please, let us win something.

I gotta go by now. I still have many assignments to accomplish -.- Ah.. I feel drowsy.

i'm so desperate.

2010-02-07T02:28:00.000+11:00

Today, we decorated our bulletin board. Yeah., as you know, we have Italy as topic. I don't want to tell much more. The result it not bad yet not good. But, I'm desperate.

Mr. SS

2010-02-03T23:29:00.003+11:00

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3885435&id=182838276782
click that link and you'll be surprised of what you see (only for Sutomo 1's students). okay. I'm not playing a prank on you. There's nothing frightening in that link.
I was just browsing my facebook news-feed and I saw this picture in which a man ,who looks like my physics teacher, is hugging his baby. Thanks to my curiosity that I opened it and.. RIGHT ! HE IS MR. SALIM SABTU, my Physics teacher. LOL. I immediately laugh out loud. I can't imagine he participates on an online competition, seriously. Later, I found out that the winners will be awarded some money, so I decided to vote for him. LOL. My physics teacher, I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT !
P.S : Winnie and I call him Isabella because he ever said that he really likes that name.

another medal :D

2010-01-31T20:18:00.000+11:00

I dedicate this post to Desilia Nilam.

Yes, she has got another medal for our class, a B R O N Z E ! Maybe some people will consider bronze as a not-so-brilliant achievement, but.. The fact that it is her first time joining this kind of competition and that it is hard to get a medal on your first participation make bronze a precious thing. oops.. i forgot to mention what is the competition. yeah,Chinese news reading competition :D

So.. until now, we have got a S I L V E R and a B R O N Z E, which is kind of exhilarating for a population of twenty humans like us. Hope we can get another medal for bulletin board.

WISH US LUCK !

getting bored.

2010-01-31T04:39:00.002+11:00

hey there.
I gonna tell you short. S I L V E R. it is totally okay,actually. I don't mind anything. At least, we got something, isn't it?

I am sick of my previous layouts. Gonna change it to something more simple like what stevaniewu has.
And i guess you do notice that i removed my chatbox. If you have something to say just drop comments on my posts :)

I am extremely exhausted at the moment so i guess i have to end this post. Good night :)